Sta.sh
Gratitude and Optimism
by ~LOweetzieLIbatTAGratitude For What We Have Achieved, And Optimism For What We Will Achieve
I wasn’t feeling much optimism and gratitude this past Summer and Fall. I was too busy doing activism for No on the Marriage Ban, which turned into No on 8. Optimism was really pissing me off at that time because I felt that because it was so preemptive, it would block progress. “If we all just do nothing and assume we will keep same-sex marriage because our state is so progressive, we’ll surely lose it” was something I found myself thinking and being annoyed by every day. I was so focused on keeping our newly won marriage rights in California that I was not taking time to be thankful for all that’s gone well for the LGBTQ community, when so much of it was right in front of my face.
The obvious things to be thankful and optimistic about for would be Obama and recent same-sex marriage victories, but there’s more. Today is the fourth annual Blogging For LGBTQ Families Day, and I’ve been contemplating what to write for weeks. A lot has happened to me regarding my family and I’ve done a bunch of activism this past year. While I was throwing around ideas for my topic, I found plenty to by happy about.
Why be thankful? We’ve come a long way.
Even though I was surrounded by other people with gay parents when I first got involved with COLAGE, I still felt like I had the different family. Pete and my dad aren’t exactly what you’d call “gay and proud.” They’re more like “gay and just deal with it.” They never participate in demonstrations, marches or any sort of activism. They don’t own so much as a single rainbow sticker. My dad even votes Republican! But eventually after going to more COLAGE events, I felt more like I belonged. I realized everyone in COLAGE has a totally unique story. Something that I’ve recently learned from my dad not being an activist is how to be thankful for how much better things are today than 30 years ago, or even 10 years ago. When I was growing up (which was the 90’s, so not even that long ago) it was absolutely not okay at all to be gay in Lubbock, TX. Not that you would get shot or hung, but you would suffer serious social and possibly job consequences. So our family was totally closeted. My dad admitted to no one but Pete that he was gay. Now he’s pretty much out with most of the family, at work, and with some of his friends. He doesn’t sit around being sad about not having marriage rights. Instead, he’s glad he’s finally free to live with a man he loves, still have a job, and not be harassed.
Why be optimistic? Progress is the way of the future.
I’ve spoken at three events in the past year. One was for Gay Future Dads, another was a panel for Gaylesta (therapists and teachers), and the most recent was a panel at City College in class about how to handle LGBTQ issues in the classroom for little bitty kids. Each time as I tell my story, I always find myself saying things like, “this probably isn’t going to apply to you” and “it was very different at that time, especially in West Texas.” I’ve noticed the new wave of queerspawn mostly have gay parents from the start. Their parents don’t have a reason to lie to their kids, because nothing is at risk and they’ve been out for years. As it was recently pointed out to me, there will always be COLAGErs like me who come from divorce, or whose parents come out later in life, but the times sure are a-changin’. Each day is a step closer to majority acceptance, protection, and equal rights for the LGBTQ community.
